Everything In Moderation

Today's blog will serve a dual purpose... something of a personal note for myself and the start of a new path for me and anyone else who wishes to join me in my wellness journey... 

So to start... most of you know I have been pushing myself hard to get a good and steady workout routine.

They Say I Can't... Watch Me

I believe that God puts people in our lives for a reason... They maybe be fleeting instances... acquaintances who become friends, who then can disappear out of our lives; loves that may seem to go on forever, but in truth are not be destined to last; the time we spend with these people can be but a blink in our lifetimes.  But sometimes that time spent makes lasting impressions on our hearts and minds.  Sometimes those people, in our past or present - however insignificant or significant they may be - make a lasting impression on us... sometimes their voices are the ones we hear when we are thinking... and its not always good.

You know the people I'm talking about... I believe "haters" is the common term the kids are using these days... I can say 'til I'm blue that they do not matter and don't let them bother you... but in truth... it is human nature to always let the bad seep into our minds because society has twisted our mind's eye on what is beautiful and acceptable.  We see it with teenagers all the time... even the most beautiful girl looks into the mirror at times and only sees her flaws... but that is a learned behavior... And it is not just society that teaches it... we teach it to our kids, we all partake in the type of behavior that feeds this beauty myth that has infected the industrialized world... because we all have a bit of the "hater" mentality in each of us... some more than others... yea I said that...

And this is where it gets tough... because deep down, other than the obvious, we know who our haters are... They are like our inner demons... We are are keenly aware of them on our own, but when someone pointedly brings attention to them, it's like that scene in a horror movie.. you want to turn away... And haters may be too strong a word for some of the people in your life who just don't support you they way you want them to...  that makes the journey ever harder...

You have no idea how difficult it has been for me to write this in a way that won't cut so deep...I've written and revised this post over and over again in my head... but there is no other way to say it... so for once... I won't.

But you cannot let it break you... you cannot let negative thoughts and ideas keep you from doing what is right for you... you can be fit.. you can be healthy, because it does not change who you are... that is one thing people, including ourselves, have to realize... a healthy you, is a happy you... but it is still YOU... Just keep going... maybe they'll come around when they see some of the benefits of your hard work... And if they still cant understand why you are so driven to be healthy... Here are some things you can say to them (even if it is in your head) and to yourself... because we are always our own worst critics:

1. I have the RIGHT to be healthy
2. I DESERVE to be confident
3. I DESERVE to feel like I am WORTH IT

Because you are.  You are one billion percent worth every drop of sweat, every healthy recipe, every difficult decision you will make on this journey.  You ARE worth it.  And if you cannot, at this time, be worth it to yourself... be worth it to your kids... love yourself enough to be healthy for them... I cannot say this enough... Because the example you are setting now may be the the ground work for the lives they will lead.  I saw a quote that said "The way we speak to our children now will be the voice they hear in their heads when they grow up."  It is the same for the way we live... and I don't care who you are or what you look like... you want the best for your children. Always.

You all are probably like WT# does this bia know about all this... Look - I've been there... I'm living it right now... I am my own biggest hater... Though I've come pretty far, all I see is the road I still have to travel... and sometimes its exhausting and all I want to do is give up and stay in bed... but as I said in the beginning... God put people in our lives for a reason... I have my haters... they remind me of who I DO NOT EVER want to be... and I have people I want to be healthy for - three boys I want to see succeed for the rest of my life... I can't see that if I ain't around because I couldn't choose my health over some donuts, burgers, and my super comfy couch... and there's the people who inspire, motivate, and push me to keep going on my wellness journey... those people I hold close... because when I am not strong enough to think I am... they are there to remind me I'm worth it... 

I have learned that all the pain, sweat, and, well pain... is really worth it... Though I may not see the change in my body as keenly as others, I know I am physically stronger and happier than I've been in a long time...

So when my haters say I can't... I tell them... Watch Me. 

~M

I'm Saving My Life

It is a few weeks into the Lenten season.  It is a time of reflection and sacrifice.  Most people that know me know I do not wear my faith on my sleeve.  Some would even say I am anti-religion. Those that really know me know that is far from the truth.  I mostly keep it to myself.  I was raised in a mixed religion home, both Jewish and Catholic.  An interesting combo, but effective in leaving me with an open mind.  I let this open minded thinking permeate my life.  I'm willing to try anything once... not saying that I am not afraid... but I was given this one life... so why not take some risks??

The one thing I have been taking too many risks with is my health. I've been on this weight loss/gain roller coaster for a while now... and its really hard to get off the ride.  Yea the trend over the past few years has been downward, but not to where its considered healthy...  Too many temptations... because... well quite honestly... I LOVE food... I love to cook as well as eat food... I love having my friends over, cooking for them, and seeing them happy because it taste good (and because they possibly wouldn't have tried it except in my house).... And you all know that feeling... that closed eyed, euphoria that comes when you take a bite of deliciously perfect chocolate cake or super comforting chicken pot pie... Yummo.

I couldn't bring myself to give my love for food away.  So I started exercising more.  And with my little experiment (see maybe a couple posts ago), I've found that it really isn't enough to just exercise all the time.  Yea your body starts to change... but it really isn't quite there... You HAVE to eat better... maybe not letting go of good food, but just finding better ways of getting the food you love.  Its like the picture says... I'm not here to be better than anyone else... I'm saving my life.  I'm trying to be the best me I can be... because I was given this one life. And I owe it to those who love me, those I love to do this... but most of all myself.

Let me put a little disclaimer on the following paragraphs... I'm not here to tell you how to "diet".. I am simply giving you insight on what has worked for me and hopefully you can use it to make a well informed (i.e. ask your doctor or other health care provider) decision about your own health... so on with the show...

In this second, and hopefully "final", stage of my experiment, I have changed the way I eat (except when I or my best friend really want a milkshake).  I have re-employed the use of MyFitnessPal to, as accurately as possible, record what I eat on a daily basis - weekend and cheat days too.  But I have decided, after consulting others, that fresh fruits and veggies (fresh or frozen, but not in sauces) are "free"... Kind of like that plan J.Hudson is promoting... These foods are naturally good for you... so why should they not be free...

As with all things found on the Internet, I was generally skeptical of the number of calories given to me.  There was no way anyone could eat that little amount of calories and get all the nutrients they needed.  Seriously - people cannot survive on chicken alone as a lean protein... well.. I cant...   If you eat any kind of meat, the calories for that alone are in the 180 - 200+ range for a 4 oz serving - depending on the cut!  And I'm sorry... there are only so many ways you can have a salad, cook tofu (blachh), and spice up veggies.  Cow, pig, chicken, and fish are staples in my diet... but I am making sure to make better choices with them...

By the blessings of  the many people I have in my life, I was given this awesome website that houses this simulator made by some folks that are exponentially smarter than me:  http://bwsimulator.niddk.nih.gov/.  It gives you the ability enter your current data, then enter your goal weight in however many days (math!), and then pops out a calorie intake goal to achieve that weight goal and then maintain it... then it also allows you to see (simulator part) how changes in your physical activity will change your caloric needs.  Super cool.  It helped me verify that the MyFitnessPal folks know what they are talking about AND it will help me adjust my caloric intake if I decide to add more cardio (yea if my body can handle it)...

Now to find out your true healthy weight range, you really need to see your doctor.  To be in a healthy BMI, at my height, I need to weigh 150-155 lbs... I asked my doctor what she thought about that and she gave me the "are you crazy" look.  Seriously she did.  Quirked eyebrow and all. She told me that my bone density, ethnicity, and basic body composition effect my weight just as much as my "weight" does.  She said that if I was Caucasian, I would weigh 20 lbs less... CRAZINESS!! So please... go see your doctor.  Do not let BMI and internet health gurus tell you what's right for you because a lot of the information that is out there is probably (because I am making an assumption) for the masses... and each of us are individuals...

So... it is March (OMG!) and the time to wear less clothing will be upon us soon in NC... do what you can with that time to be the best you can... and if you don't get there right away... no worries... take your time... because anything worth having doesn't come easy... this month's "diet" is next month's body!!

Toodles...
-M