They Say I Can't... Watch Me

I believe that God puts people in our lives for a reason... They maybe be fleeting instances... acquaintances who become friends, who then can disappear out of our lives; loves that may seem to go on forever, but in truth are not be destined to last; the time we spend with these people can be but a blink in our lifetimes.  But sometimes that time spent makes lasting impressions on our hearts and minds.  Sometimes those people, in our past or present - however insignificant or significant they may be - make a lasting impression on us... sometimes their voices are the ones we hear when we are thinking... and its not always good.

You know the people I'm talking about... I believe "haters" is the common term the kids are using these days... I can say 'til I'm blue that they do not matter and don't let them bother you... but in truth... it is human nature to always let the bad seep into our minds because society has twisted our mind's eye on what is beautiful and acceptable.  We see it with teenagers all the time... even the most beautiful girl looks into the mirror at times and only sees her flaws... but that is a learned behavior... And it is not just society that teaches it... we teach it to our kids, we all partake in the type of behavior that feeds this beauty myth that has infected the industrialized world... because we all have a bit of the "hater" mentality in each of us... some more than others... yea I said that...

And this is where it gets tough... because deep down, other than the obvious, we know who our haters are... They are like our inner demons... We are are keenly aware of them on our own, but when someone pointedly brings attention to them, it's like that scene in a horror movie.. you want to turn away... And haters may be too strong a word for some of the people in your life who just don't support you they way you want them to...  that makes the journey ever harder...

You have no idea how difficult it has been for me to write this in a way that won't cut so deep...I've written and revised this post over and over again in my head... but there is no other way to say it... so for once... I won't.

But you cannot let it break you... you cannot let negative thoughts and ideas keep you from doing what is right for you... you can be fit.. you can be healthy, because it does not change who you are... that is one thing people, including ourselves, have to realize... a healthy you, is a happy you... but it is still YOU... Just keep going... maybe they'll come around when they see some of the benefits of your hard work... And if they still cant understand why you are so driven to be healthy... Here are some things you can say to them (even if it is in your head) and to yourself... because we are always our own worst critics:

1. I have the RIGHT to be healthy
2. I DESERVE to be confident
3. I DESERVE to feel like I am WORTH IT

Because you are.  You are one billion percent worth every drop of sweat, every healthy recipe, every difficult decision you will make on this journey.  You ARE worth it.  And if you cannot, at this time, be worth it to yourself... be worth it to your kids... love yourself enough to be healthy for them... I cannot say this enough... Because the example you are setting now may be the the ground work for the lives they will lead.  I saw a quote that said "The way we speak to our children now will be the voice they hear in their heads when they grow up."  It is the same for the way we live... and I don't care who you are or what you look like... you want the best for your children. Always.

You all are probably like WT# does this bia know about all this... Look - I've been there... I'm living it right now... I am my own biggest hater... Though I've come pretty far, all I see is the road I still have to travel... and sometimes its exhausting and all I want to do is give up and stay in bed... but as I said in the beginning... God put people in our lives for a reason... I have my haters... they remind me of who I DO NOT EVER want to be... and I have people I want to be healthy for - three boys I want to see succeed for the rest of my life... I can't see that if I ain't around because I couldn't choose my health over some donuts, burgers, and my super comfy couch... and there's the people who inspire, motivate, and push me to keep going on my wellness journey... those people I hold close... because when I am not strong enough to think I am... they are there to remind me I'm worth it... 

I have learned that all the pain, sweat, and, well pain... is really worth it... Though I may not see the change in my body as keenly as others, I know I am physically stronger and happier than I've been in a long time...

So when my haters say I can't... I tell them... Watch Me. 

~M