The Art of Losing (or Finding)

I was watching "In Her Shoes" with Cameron Diaz and Toni Collette tonight while eating dinner. Cameron read the following poem by Elizabeth Bishop:

One Art

The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster,

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three beloved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

-- Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) a disaster.      

In the movie, she interpreted the poem as the author trying to seem aloof and detached while she "lost" things, because the truth was that she did not want to face the pain of losing what she loved the most. You all will now see what a big nerd I am, since this inspired me.  For the reader the loss could be a friend, a lover, a family member - or really anything we hold so close to us that we cannot bear the thought of losing it or them or him or her. 

Many of us put on airs to bury the true pain that we feel.  I do it all the time.  We smile through anything so that no one will know how truly something - anything affects us.  But in this we are hurting ourselves and possibly the one(s) we love the most.  By retreating inside, we lose ourselves.  And when we lose ourselves, we lose others. 

So, in the practice of putting ourselves at the top of the importance list, in this journey we are taking, do not lose yourself.  You are your own best friend, your own cheerleader.  If you do not support yourself, if you do not love you, you will never see the others that do.  Their love will never touch you because you have retreated so far inside because you are so afraid that it is false.and that you will lose them.

Be free, don't be afraid to try and to open up.  It will bring you joy and joy to those who care for you because you have joy.  Our new cool down has a line in it that says "... I just don't want you to be happy. 'Cause then you have to have something happening.  I want you to have joy 'cause can't nobody take that away from you." 

Keep those close to you who truly want to see joy in your life.  Bring them closer if you want to see joy in theirs.  If you have let them walk away from you, bring them back.  Do not be afraid to let them in.  Because trust me... losing is painful - no matter when or how it happens or how deep you bury it.  It will be there.  The only thing we are striving to lose are inches, pounds and dress sizes. 

Make a practice of finding.

>M<

Every Moment

In recognition of  Jill's dear friend and coworker, I dedicate this post to Ed Ristaino and his family, Jill and the entire CVOR team at CMC-NE.  From the little I learned about Ed, he lived a full life. We all should take example from that.

We often put aside things that should be important to us and our health.  I'm not just talking about our physical health, but also our spiritual, mental and emotional health also. We say to ourselves and whoever is listening "There isn't enough time in the day."  Yes there is.  There are things that have taken priority in our lives that should be the farthest things from our minds.  Sometimes our family bonds take back seats to our favorite shows or the busy schedule we keep our kids on to make them well rounded individuals.  Sometimes our work bonds suffer because we cannot let go of past grievances.  The bonds we make are what get us through the day - through life.  But it is often said that the things closest to us are the things we neglect so easily, especially ourselves. 

In this week I have been witness to a fact that none of us can escape.  Tomorrow is not promised - actually - our next moment is not promised.  And the sadness that surrounds this truth is indomitable.  But because of this truth, why not make every moment count? This is our one life - our one chance given to us to be who we are meant to be.  It is never too late.  The great thing about being human is that we have a choice.  We can choose to stay as we are or move forward.... I'm moving forward... I'm hoping you are already walking with me...

I do not believe for one moment that everyone is truly content with exactly who they are.  Honestly, you wouldn't be reading this blog if you were.  There is always room for improvement.  When we stand still for too long, we disappear.  We move too fast, we disappear.  Find that middle ground where you are not giving too much or watching the world go by you. 

Getting back to Zumba and our well being (I'm saying this in a holistic sense), don't wait to become active in every moment.  Next thing you know it will pass you by.  Every moment, every move, every shake, every beat of your heart, every bead of sweat - counts.   Just like in life, approach your wellness journey with intention.  Give it everything you have.  George Eliot said "Its never too late to be who you might have been."  So make choices in your wellness journey count.  If you find yourself standing still, look at everything you are doing (or not doing) that can help you move forward again.  A healthy you is a happy you.  So if you haven't started, get going on that full life.

So, in closure... live with intention, love wholeheartedly, cherish every moment. 

>M<

What If

Angela messaged me this past week with this idea. Even though I cannot seem to find the original article or video, it does not change the message. So all credit goes to her. Love you Angie! Get well soon!

Have you seen the movie "Letters to Juliet?" If not, this won't give it away - but in the letter that Sophie (Amanda Seyfried) writes to Claire (Vanessa Redgrave) she tells her that the words "what" and "if" are two of the most common words out there.  But if you put them together, they become heavy with meaning.  How many times do you or have you ask yourself  "What if?"

Those words are normally extremely heavy with regret.  They can bring to light paths that we did not take - opportunities that we missed.  But they can also be a catalyst to change.  They can be the words that we use in our lives to change our perception of anything that we do. "What if" can be the deciding factor that causes us to become more aware of what we eat, how we exerercise, and how many times we make excuses for not taking care of ourselves.

So the challenge inside this challenge now is to start asking yourself "what if?" 

What if I eat this cheeseburger

what if I don't exercise today or this week

what if I don't get enough sleep

What if I don't drink enough water

Like I keep saying (so much I know you're annoyed), awareness is a big thing.  By asking yourself any form of these questions again and again, awareness immediately becomes part of your life.  Because I guarantee you that you will feel justified in your decision to make a not so great decision but in the long run you will feel bad for doing it.  Then the "what if" becomes laden with regret.  Regret that you did not eat healthier and now you feel bad or you've gained back some pounds.  Regret that you didn't exercise and feel like you have to work twice as hard to make up for it (maybe) or that you did not lose any weight that week.  Regret that you are grouchy during the day because you didn't get enough sleep (as in your own fault, not because you were so busy with kids, family, etc) and the people around you are paying for it.  Regret that you don't drink enough water and your body starts to feel like a prune.

So think about the possibilities that asking "what if" can do for you, instead of to you.  Most people have enough regrets in their lives.  I know I have mine, but I won't bore you with those.  Don't add to yours.

~M~

Lets Get Real.

Lets get real about something - ourselves and our self images of ourselves.  And I apologize in advance if this gets long, but this is something that I feel really strongly about....

Now when I say "image," I am not talking about what other people could be saying about you.  Right now - in this moment - they do not matter.  All that matters here is you.  Go take a look in the mirror.  I bet you are assessing every single imperfection you may have, even ones you don't have.  Don't be embarrassed to admit it... I do it too  - we are not alone.

We spend so much time worrying about what other people think that we forget to think for and about ourselves.   The media has glorified a body type that is totally unsustainable in the real world without some SERIOUS work - and I'll let your mind go where ever it likes on that one.  Celebrities make us feel that they are the privileged because they are beautiful, well dressed, slim... and we are not enough.  When we look in the mirror we want to see a movie star or an athlete.  And when it comes down to it, all we see is ourselves. 

But you have to change that perception.  Powerful thing, perception.  It can build, create, and more often - destroy.  When we look in the mirror and the first thing we do is compare ourselves to someone else, we are destroying ourselves.  I say we, because yes, I do it too.  I will be first in line to tell you I wish I could change something about my appearance and the way I look in the mirror.  On days I forget myself, that way of thinking - that perception - really can get me down.  Most days, I don't care.  But there's the difference.  My perception. 

You see, the thing about self image is that you are in control of it.  You can loathe yourself everyday and then what? It will not get you anywhere.  Trust me, I know.  I spent most of my life thinking I wasn't good enough.  I tried to fit in in various ways but it ended up hurting me in the end.  I tried to make other people happy at my expense because I thought it would make me happy too.  Well guess what - none of that worked for me.  Then I found my husband - who, by the way, is the most wonderful man in the world.  Then I found Zumba and an amazing group of friends that I consider part of my family.  But the biggest change was that I really stopped caring what other people thought and got on with MY LIFE.  I started to believe in myself and look at me now.  Ten years ago, I would have never thought I'd be on a stage in front of you all shaking what the Lord gave me.   All because I changed my perception of myself.

At the end of our lives, when we answer for what we have done, we are responsible for ourselves - the choices we have made - not anyone else.  So, in saying that... I know you all are amazing people.  You are mothers, fathers (if any men read this blog), sisters, wives, daughters, sons, husbands, brothers...

But in all the roles we play throughout our existence on this Earth, make sure you are who you want to be or working towards it.  Be OK with who you are now, because God (or whoever you praise) gave you tomorrow to keep trying. 

Because you are enough. 

Don't let anyone tell you any differently.

>M<

Portions

Sorry for the delay... been a tiring week with a nephew's bday and having the boys with me this weekend.  Lets talk portions.

We live in a country where everything is supersized.  Our cars, our TVs, our food.. and ultimately, us.  Livestrong.com cited that in a 2010 study, the US ranked second in the world as the most obese country, not far behind Mexico.  I am not telling you this to discourage you, only to hopefully build on what I've already harped on already - AWARENESS!

Like I said a few posts ago, WW has helped me become highly aware and slightly crazed about what I eat and the amount that I eat.  I find myself looking at the nutritional data at the store all the time! It takes me twice as long to get out. 

Check out this image from the web about portions.  I know we cannot see the side information but the plates speak for themselves.  The plate on the left is what you get in most fast food meals.  It is 2 or more servings of what it "should" be - the plate on the right.  I haven't looked at a fast food nutritional chart lately, so I am not sure they go by servings or menu items.

Another reason for you to be aware of what you eat.  I believe if this was a Micky D's it would be a Cheeseburger Deluxe and Fries (I only know that because my boys like to eat those).  The fries on the right are not even a serving of the small fries on the menu.  So how much are we really eating when we order that value meal? or when we are eating out?   The suggested serving for a piece of steak (ribeye, strip, etc) is 4 oz, as with most meats, trimmed of the fat.  The smallest steak available at most steakhouses is 6 oz.  And though you might think that Chili's and other chain restaurants offer a 4 oz steak as a combo meal, it is exactly that!! A combo meal in which you are getting possibly 2 4 oz meat/protein servings, a side or two, smothered in some possibly high fat sauce to give it flavor coz they do not use the quality meat that a steakhouse uses. 

If you are a NE employee, you know that the health program we have at work offers some pointers on portions also.  They say that we should eat meals off of an 8-9 inch plate.  That's about the size of the plate the Olive Garden uses for salads.  If you do eat out, drink a couple glasses of water while you're waiting (think about skipping the bread unless its a must have) and save half of your food for tomorrow's lunch.  Its the little things that make the biggest changes...

There is a lot of information about how much a serving should be out there on the web.  Check out this website to see if what you think is a serving really is what the USDA recommends.   It gives visual aids as to how much a portion should be. 
http://web.mit.edu/athletics/sportsmedicine/wcrservings.html

Ok...ok... end of rant... watch your portions. 

>M<

The Dreaded Scale

One of the things we hate the most is getting on the scale.  For those of us who have been on the weightloss rollercoaster, that is the last thing we often want to do.  But suprisingly, we let that rule our perception of how our wellness journey is going.  You have to remember - the scale is not the end.  The weight reflected on the scale not only has fat but it has your bones, skin, organs, and the MUSCLE you get from ZUMBA and any other workout you do.  Muscle weighs more than fat because of the difference in density. 

You will find as you go along, and I say this only out of personal experience, that the scale may not move as much as you want it to or as fast as you want it to.  For the past year, because I did not watch what I ate, the scale moved up and down between the same 5 lbs.  With Zumba though, my clothes never got tighter - they actually started to fit better.  Look for the other differences in your body.  Look for your clothes getting looser or being able to fit in clothes that you haven't worn in a while. 

That's why we take your measurements.  Because the scale is not the end.  Its just a number. 

Just remember, it takes time and work.  Nothing worth achieving is ever done quickly.  Take your time - you and your body deserve it. 

Happy Tuesday!
See you all tomorrow at Zumba Tone - hope you're ready to work it out!!

>M<

See Past the End of Your Nose

So let's talk about something that can definately change everything about your wellness journey... now that the challenge has begun:

Awareness

I'll give you the lowdown on how this epiphany came to me.  Jill and I joined a popular online weight loss program about two weeks ago.  Because we have been given a certain number of points per day, we found that within two short weeks we overly criticize everything that we put in our mouths.  When deciding what to eat, we always think about how many points it would be.  Now, because of this program, we are hyper aware of the food we eat.  This is the same kind of thing if you are counting calories and journaling about food.  By staying within a certain number of calories (and sticking to it over a period of time) and journaling it, you become highly aware of what you are eating.  You have "proof" somewhat of your good and/or bad habits. 

Think about it.  We often go for what is convenient even though we know it is not right for us and our families.  How often do we know we are taking a short cut that is risky? You take risk by waking up in the morning and getting into traffic.  Decrease the amount of risks you have control over - your health and what you consume or partake in that effect your health.

As I mentioned up top... awareness is a big deal.  Just like acknowledgement.  When you acknowledge that you need something - like to lose weight - then you have taken a step in the right direction.  You are aware of the need to change... now get to it!

So since you're here, reading my multiple rants, you've taken the next step in your wellness journey and have moved to action... well at least I hope so!  . 

No class Monday due to the Spring Break - but no slacking!  Go to the "Get Groovin" tab and shake that booty!!

Happy Friday! Hope you have an amazing weekend!

>M<