The Art of Losing (or Finding)

I was watching "In Her Shoes" with Cameron Diaz and Toni Collette tonight while eating dinner. Cameron read the following poem by Elizabeth Bishop:

One Art

The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster,

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three beloved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

-- Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) a disaster.      

In the movie, she interpreted the poem as the author trying to seem aloof and detached while she "lost" things, because the truth was that she did not want to face the pain of losing what she loved the most. You all will now see what a big nerd I am, since this inspired me.  For the reader the loss could be a friend, a lover, a family member - or really anything we hold so close to us that we cannot bear the thought of losing it or them or him or her. 

Many of us put on airs to bury the true pain that we feel.  I do it all the time.  We smile through anything so that no one will know how truly something - anything affects us.  But in this we are hurting ourselves and possibly the one(s) we love the most.  By retreating inside, we lose ourselves.  And when we lose ourselves, we lose others. 

So, in the practice of putting ourselves at the top of the importance list, in this journey we are taking, do not lose yourself.  You are your own best friend, your own cheerleader.  If you do not support yourself, if you do not love you, you will never see the others that do.  Their love will never touch you because you have retreated so far inside because you are so afraid that it is false.and that you will lose them.

Be free, don't be afraid to try and to open up.  It will bring you joy and joy to those who care for you because you have joy.  Our new cool down has a line in it that says "... I just don't want you to be happy. 'Cause then you have to have something happening.  I want you to have joy 'cause can't nobody take that away from you." 

Keep those close to you who truly want to see joy in your life.  Bring them closer if you want to see joy in theirs.  If you have let them walk away from you, bring them back.  Do not be afraid to let them in.  Because trust me... losing is painful - no matter when or how it happens or how deep you bury it.  It will be there.  The only thing we are striving to lose are inches, pounds and dress sizes. 

Make a practice of finding.

>M<